i haven't written here in ages. perhaps because stuff has been going on that i'm not sure i want people to have a daily view on...idk. since july things have been rocky. that's putting it mildly. they've been a nightmare. losing friends(or just not talking) seems to be commonplace. i miss talking to brettand bea everyday.

summer was fun...though i seem to get stuck in things that have happened rather than living in the present. i really want to stop that because i'm sick of crying myself to sleep because i miss people i haven't seen in months, because things COULD'VE been so amazing.

i don't know whther i can help anyone else through stuff...cause i've been dealing with everyoneelses problems, rather than fixing my own. i'm sick of people whining about their lives....i can't fix them anymore. i'm tired of being depressed. i want out.

and for prom..... wow. i d k. i really like this guy...but he's kinda an ass. then there's the fact that mom wants me to get back ntouch with bg guys.....

GRRR.

random rambling on God and happiness....

you know those days when even tho there's nothing to be upset about, you can't shake the mood? i've been thinking about those alot lately. What is it that makes us upset seemingly for no reason? is it something we've represed  and chosen not to feel, or is it something deeper than that. a flaw that sinks to our very core, an emptyness that can't be filled on earth. and the more i muse on my thoughts the more intricate they become. What exactly defines unhappiness? is it something that has a universal meaning or does each and every human being define unhappiness by a different standard? The latter while it makes more sense, leads one to believe that what we've been taught since childhood, may not necessarily be correct. Because if everyone's view of unhappiness is different, isn't their view of happiness likewise? and for that matter any other thought or feeling? and if this is in fact true how are we as a community to be able to "share the same views" when in each view differs slightly for everyone. I guess this is the great wonder of creation. How differently God made us, yet He gave us the ability to get along.